


Why the Avengers shouldn't cook

by Petra



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Cooking, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-10
Updated: 2012-08-10
Packaged: 2017-11-11 20:49:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/482767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petra/pseuds/Petra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brief meditations on the subject of kitchen-fu.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why the Avengers shouldn't cook

Tony shouldn't cook because he starts out trying to make a batch of chocolate chip cookies and then elaborates until he has ten dozen things that look like cannoli and taste like they're at least half butter. And then there was the time he tried to make chili and ended up with two stoves worth of barbequed beans. Or the dinner rolls that somehow became lemon-herb focaccia with roasted garlic embedded in it and pockets of homemade ricotta.

Thor shouldn't cook because his concept of cooking is, "We must roast several pigs. And goats. And three sheep!"

Steve shouldn't cook because when he bakes, he leaves out half the sugar and half the butter, and things just don't taste right to anyone else that way. When he cooks things that are supposed to have meat in them, he cuts back by three-quarters and adds rice. No amount of explaining the household budget to him helps.

Clint shouldn't cook because he fries everything. Absolutely everything.

Bruce shouldn't cook because he makes one attempt at a nutritionally balanced casserole. It does not come out of the serving dish when the serving dish is inverted.

Natasha shouldn't cook because all the things she makes are extremely heavy and she gets silently but virulently offended if people don't eat it all. Steve is the only one who manages to clean his plate, and even he regrets it.


End file.
